IN HOUSTON

One of the most humid cities in the world is quite mild today. Me and my buddy Tommy are here interviewing people for my book on calling. It's been cool thus far.

Pray for us as we talk to many different types of people about how God works in their lives.

God's blessings to all of you.

mpt

ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM 'BUSH' FATIGUE?

George Bush Sr. told Larry King that his son Jeb might not be running for president because society is a little bit tired of the having a Bush in the White House? In fact, he called it "Bush fatigue."

You think?

I'm sure Obama would say it's not fatigue; he'd call it the flu.

In other news, Barbara Bush says America would vote for a Mormon.

No doubt, 2008 will be interesting.

Stay tuned.

HOOKERS 4 JESUS!

Former Las Vegas hooker says she is now picking up men in the name of Jesus Christ.

THE APOSTLE'S CREED [IF IT WERE UP TO REPUBLICANS]

THE APOSTLES CREED (according to Republicans)

We believe in God! We think of him as that Great Securer of elections, 401Ks, prosperity, and yes, of course, he lives up there! [Direct hand upward] And sure, we like that he’s the creator of heaven and earth, but we’re also thankful that he helped us launch The Wall Street Journal, Ronald Reagan, Jack Daniels, Penelope Cruz, and our favorite, timeshares in Cozumel! (Amen!)

Of course, we also believe in Jesus because we have to; you know, he’s the guy the evangelicals love! And let’s face it; if you want to win Missouri’s electorals—and no one becomes president without Missouri—you have to believe in God’s Son, or at least make conservative talk radio hosts think you do. And yes, we’ve suffered because of him a few times, mostly due to the literalists who believe he was actually crucified, rose again, and he’s coming again to judge the living and the dead, but man, Missouri. Must. Have. Missouri.

Now, we have to be honest; we struggle with the Holy Spirit because he eggs on the evangelical weirdoes. Don’t tell T.D. Jakes we said that!

The Holy Catholic Church? Eh, we tolerate them. And anytime there’s a communion of saints, we’ll be in attendance! The forgiveness of sins? Um, we’re politicians; we can make anything happen! And if the “saints” do actually get resurrected, we’ll probably pee our pants, but mostly because we really need them to win elections. God save the GOP!

AMEN! Hear, hear. Cheers! Bottoms up.



"MATT DRUDGE IN 2008!!"

NEED YOUR HELP.

Hey friends,

I need your help.

I am trying to nail line up some interviews with people on the topic of "calling," "passion," "God's will," "hearing God," and other topics that deal directly with the future.

If you or anyone you know would like to be interviewed for this project, please contact me. I'm not looking necessarily for "wisdom" on the topic, but more specifically, personal stories that fit the topic, and certainly, that might include some of your personal wisdom on the topic.

So please, send this to all of your friends. Get them to email me at MatthewPaulTurner@gmail.com and make sure to include a little bit of your story.

Peace,

and much thanks.

Matthew

CHRISTIANS ARE SO CREATIVE. UGH.

This was posted on Relevant Magazine's site.

It's a story about the Christian copies of MySpace and YouTube. It just shows how uncreative we are sometimes.

Also, sorry, I haven't blogged in a bit. Life has been crazy. Almost finished my last edit of "Jesus Needs New PR."

Can't wait.

MPT

NOW EVEN THE MORMONS DISLIKE DICK CHENEY

There was a rally today at Brigham Young University, the Mormon-owned college that is known for it's strict conservative rules, including--no coffee. Weird, huh? Well, not really; the church I went to didn't want us to watch the Smurfs.

Anyway, some of the students rallied together this evening to protest Dick Cheney's invitation to be the guest of honor at the school's May graduation, citing lying as the primary reason.

Poor Dick. I bet he's looking forward to January 20, 2009; he'll probably move back to Wyoming and begin raising pigs or some of other fat livestock, or perhaps he'll donate his body to science. That would be nice.

Eh, he'll probably just hunt, maybe even shoot a friend or two.

All I gotta say is that it's pretty bad when you're Republican and you can't go to a Mormon school without protest. Sad reality, huh?

It is to me. I think I will go to bed now and pray.

Maybe the world needs fewer words...

At least, for tonight...

Peace.

Sweet dreams.

INTERVIEW: WHAT WOULD JESUS REALLY DO?

I'm not sure how Crosswalk.com got permission to reprint a transcript from CNN, but they did.

CNN talked to Pastor Paula White, TD Jakes, Jerry Falwell, and Rick Warren about "What Jesus Would Really Do" if he were here on earth.

The first half of the interview is pretty predictable, with Paula and TD talking a lot about money and the Easter Bunny, but never really answering the questions.

So, feel free to skip ahead.

However, the second half of the interview, when the questions are focused toward Jerry and Rick, it gets pretty good.

I don't care for Jerry Falwell, but I must admit; this might have been one of his most heartfelt interviews ever. There are times in this transcript where he actually sounds like a human being... Now, I don't agree with everything he says, but at least he didn't make me think of him as a big scary monster.

But the real question is...

What would Jesus really do if he were here on earth today?

As if we can really answer that question. Jesus surprised people when he was here on earth 2000 years ago. And I tend to think we'd be surprised in 2007, too.

I just wonder how many of us would follow...

FESTIVAL OF FAITH AND MUSIC BEATS UP ON 'RELEVANT'

One quote from the conference...

"Relevance has been America's greatest vanity." - Sufjan Stevens

If you're a magazine, that might hurt.

A blogger tells the story.

JESUS WAS BUSY YESTERDAY... BUT NOT TOO BUSY TO VISIT THE MASTERS

It was Easter. Jesus is always busy on Easter. For obvious reasons.

But apparently, he wasn't too busy to help Zach Johnson win his first Masters! Three cheers for having a God that cares about things like golfing trophies and green jackets!

I mean, it would have been nice if Jesus could have stopped Iran's nuclear program instead, but come on, IT WAS THE MASTERS!!!!

So enjoy that trophy Zach. Oh, and btw: Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sends his love: "Happy Iranian Nuclear Day, Mr. Johnson! And thank you for keeping Jesus busy yesterday. Look for our BIG win sometime in the future..."

HAPPY EASTER!

I believe the spirit of God is with us through Jesus Christ our Lord.

May each of you have a wonderful Easter celebration, full of rest, worship, and meditation.

I'm taking the day off from blogging. See you again Monday.

mpt

INTERESTING: 'TIME' SAYS THAT MANY PASTORS' WIVES ARE UNHAPPY

READ THE STORY

A GOOD FRIDAY INDEED

I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die.--Jesus

May your weekend be blessed by the mystery and wonder of Jesus' story. Have a beautiful Good Friday.

mpt

MY WIFE SCRAPPED ME.

As you know, my wife gets a little whacky about scrapbooking. Like, seriously--she's a bit insane with it. But to be honest, I like that Jess scrapbooks. Not only does she enjoy it, but it has made me appreciate pictures and memories and legacy a lot more... I know, I know--I'm talking about scrapbooking and I just used the word, "legacy." I'm going to get letters about that one.

Fine. Send letters. You wouldn't understand unless you scrapbooked anyway.

A good Holy Thursday to you.

mpt

THIS IS A COMMERCIAL FOR LIFEWAY'S NEW TWENTY-SOMETHING MINISTRY "THREADS"

No comment. Well, okay, just one: the "mates and dates" line just kills me. Wow. I'll leave it there. Watch this; you might want to begin scrapbooking or sewing or ironing...

JESUS WANTS A COKE AND A SMILE! AND THE SODA COMPANY SAYS NO

Found this story at RelevantMagazine.com.

Coke asks an Italian movie company to cut scene involving Jesus drinking a coke.

MMM... JESUS' LATEST PR

Theologian, preacher, ego without a sex drive Dr. John MacArthur is fighting another one of his big wars, and apparently, this one is the most important one of his violent career: The Truth War! So if you're Emergent, searching, postmodern, have a little doubt, not sure about the validity of every single word in the Bible, Catholic, or otherwise human, THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR YOU. There is nothing in MacArthur's book that isn't available from the Apostle Paul's biblical works. GOOD PR SCALE: I'll give this travesty a 2 [out of 10] just for the scary snake cover! No reason to scare your readers with reptiles.

Spiritual Essayist Anne Lamott returns with more mercies, another plan, and wisdom and humor in her new book Grace [Eventually]. Reading Anne's words is for me, like sitting down with a best friend who always knows what I need to hear and is willing to be blunt with me. I think Grace is better than Traveling Mercies and not as bittersweet as Plan B.
GOOD PR SCALE: Well, you should know that Anne isn't afraid to drop an F-bomb once in a while and she isn't frightened to talk bluntly about the deeds of her past; I think that's why I like her writing. 7 [out of ten].


YAY! We've been waiting for the end to arrive for years, and now, I can say with exceeding great joy: The End Is Here! The LEFT BEHIND Series is finally complete! Which I suppose means all the following has happened...

1) Jesus came back and a whole bunch of long jean skirts, bobby socks, and ruffled white blouses were left scattered throughout the state of Kentucky.
2) Seven years later Jesus returned again, this time on a horse with a flame thrower and WMDs [Weapons of Mass Doxology].
3) All the Christians are safe and sound in Heaven watching the horrific earthly events on a big screen TV, holding virgin smooties. Instead of cheering "run, run," you hear the occassional "get your head cut off, Billy! GET YOUR HEAD CUT OFF!!!"
4) Jesus has put all of the sinners into the lake of fire and all of the echos of our lost loved ones screaming for their lives has been silenced from our ears using earphones made by Apple [God savd Apple; he loves them!].
5) Although everyone born and raised in India is now burning, some Christian yells across the large heavenly dinner table, "Hey, is there ketchup up here?" The Apostle Peter smiles and says with a sing-songy laugh, "Of course, we have ketchup; we have everything..." And then music begins to play and Peter begins singing a sultry number about counting your many blessings...
GOOD PR SCALE: It is finished, so 10 [out of 10].

POLITICS: GET TO KNOW SOME OF THE EVANGELICAL RIGHT

Inspired by the book What You Didn't Learn From Your Parents About Politics

The following is taken from the section entitled "Meet Some of Christianity's Most Politically Active Conservative Individuals." It's a pretty good book, I mean, if I say so myself anyway. Hopefully, you won't hate me after this post. LOL!

Enjoy. :-)

'THE ORGANIC GOD' BY MARGARET FEINBERG GETS 'STARRED' LOVE

My friend Margaret Feinberg has a new book releasing in a couple of weeks, and already, it's receiving some high marks. Check out this review PW!

Starred Review. An emerging popular writer for culture-savvy evangelicals, Feinberg challenges 20-somethings and older Christians to trade in their current relationship with God for an "organic" one. In a word, Feinberg describes her former understanding of God as "polluted," while today she longs for closeness to the creator as characterized by all that is "natural, pure, and essential." Throughout these introspective spiritual musings, Feinberg (What the Heck Should I Do with My Life? and God Whispers) is engaging and thoughtful as she pairs the mysteries of the divine-human relationship with everyday wonders found in the material world. Thematically laid out, the book shares Feinberg's personal recollections from childhood on to present-day experiences while pointing to various aspects of God's character; Feinberg's God is bighearted, beautiful, wise, talkative, infallible, generous, stubborn, kind and mysterious. In one particularly transparent story, Feinberg shares how God nudged her to bestow generosity by giving away a beloved sweater, a pair of gloves and some gourmet treats. Feinberg resisted, only to ruin the sweater, lose a glove and find the treats uneatable within a 24-hour period. She learned that "the Organic God doesn't just want me to give until it hurts, but rather to give until it feels good." Feinberg's quirky personality shines forth on every page, making her text a delectable treat. --Publishers Weekly

Margaret was in Oklahoma City today, too; we spent the day talking about an event that we're both speaking at in September. [I'll share more about that gig soon.] Though I haven't had the pleasure of reading The Organic God, I am praying it will be a huge success for Margaret.

Meanwhile, until you go out and buy her new book, check out her blogspot!

RIDICULOUS: OBAMA, JESUS, AND ART

Only have a moment to write.

I am sitting at Kansas City's airport, a very well designed mid-sized airport I might add.

So a Chicago art exhibit unveiled a statue of Obama dressed up like Jesus, blue neon halo and all. People are getting pretty upset about this up there in Chi-town. It's funny how we don't mind a church deacon, the guy in church who we think looks like Jesus [skinny white guy with shoulder length hair], or Jim Caviezel to portray our Messiah. But God forbid, somebody dresses Obama up like Jesus. That equals CONTROVERSY!

Maybe the controversy is in what this "art" implies:

A few ideas...

Jesus was interacial?
Jesus wasn't white?
Jesus was a Democrat?
Jesus lived in Chicago?
Jesus had really big hands and a larger-than-normal head?
Jesus had neon halo?
Jesus dressed exactly like Val Kilmer in the movie "Alexander"?
Jesus stood on a pedastal?
Jesus really liked track lighting?

Heck, Jesus might have looked kind of like this. In fact, I think the only African American kid in my first grade Sunday school class had a Bible with this picture on it. Anybody remember that Bible?

Peace.

mpt

OKLAHOMA CITY BOUND

I fly to Oklahoma City today, which comes complete with a lengthy layover in Kansas City. It's not a long trip, will be back in Nashville tomorrow afternoon.

But I'm not sure what my Internet situation will be like on this trip, so we'll see how much updating I will get to.

As always, thanks for visiting.

mpt.

PS: Don't forget; Bethany Dillon's brand new record is out in stores and on iTunes tomorrow. The album called "Waking Up" and it's definitely her best musical offering to date. I think you should buy it.

THE ROCKS CRY OUT ON PALM SUNDAY

It was sunny here in Nashville on Palm Sunday.

After visiting a different church last Sunday, Jessica and I went back to our regular church this week. Like I mentioned last before, Jessica loves our church. It's me who can't seem to find peace.

To be honest, it's not the same church we joined nearly three years ago.

Just to give you some background, about nineteen months ago one of the two "teaching" pastors stepped down [the circumstances surrounding his departure weren't pleasant, but he wasn't angry when he stepped down; in fact, he continued to attend our church until he and his family ventured into a new ministry out of state]. His decision to leave was the beginning of change at our church.

At least, that's true from my personal perspective.

This morning we walked into the 11:00 service and instantly noticed the church floor covered with palm branches.

I've always loved Palm Sunday; the visuals that exist in this particular story are glorious and powerful, but also very strange, mainly because the same people who seem excited about Jesus' arrival into Jerusalem end up wanting him dean on a cross just a few days later. In the story, I think the people with the palms feel a certain amount of mental conflict, they’re stuck somewhere between praise and unbelief.

That’s a reality I can relate to at times.

As we got ready to enter the auditorium, the usher handed us both a church bulletin and then said, "Oh, yeah, and pick up a rock." Right in front of us was a wooden box full of small stones. Jess looked at me and laughed as she picked up one of the rocks; she knew what I was thinking:

"Oh, no, it's PROP Sunday."

I didn’t take a stone.

Another confession.

The "prop" thing bugs me. Yes, I know it's small and probably very stupid, but our church hands out "sermon props" at least once a month [sometimes more often, sometimes less] These "props"--which have been a red ball, a box of Nerds candies, a small piece of maroon fabric, and other items--are supposed to be "helpful tools" to illustrate the a major point in the pastor's sermon. Okay, so I get that, and if I were 7, maybe I would appreciate it more. But I think it's trite; it reminds me of Sunday school.


Maybe I should have picked up a rock; I would have had something to throw...

Jessica gave me a look that said, Um, let it go.

We found our seat. Jess wrote a check and put it in the offering plate. Then the pastor began speaking. Apparently, for Palm Sunday, the order of service was reversed--the sermon came before the praise and worship music and then communion.

Once the sermon began, I forgot about the rock. Our pastor taught from one of the passages that tells of Jesus' triumphant entry. He gave us three "truths" about Jesus that he had gleened from the story. The second and third points were pretty general, ones that I had heard many times: 2] Jesus is in control and 3]Jesus brings the only peace that really matters.

But the first point, that was one I had never heard before. He was talking about the fact that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey. He directed our attention to how the book of Matthew states that Jesus chose to ride a donkey because it had been told by the prophets that he would ride a donkey.

Duh, right?

Right.

"Jesus didn't have to ride a donkey," said my pastor loudly and with a lot of passion like he was telling us some miraculous truth, "He could have just walked if he had wanted to!"

Then he picked up his Bible from off of the pulpit, placed it over top of his head, walked around the stage, and then said: "Do you know what this teaches us about Jesus?"

A list of things began going through my head: Jesus was tired. Jesus knew that he was supposed to ride a donkey. Jesus really liked donkeys. His Dad told him to get himself a donkey. And so forth...

My pastor's hands went straight up into the air as if praise and worship music had started early, and he began to speak loudly: "This teaches us that Jesus lived under the authority of the Bible, just like we should live under the authority of the Bible."

I felt like that statement is assuming a lot. And we know what assuming makes us into, right? [Hint: Jesus rode one into the city]

In all seriousness, I'm still processing that statement.

At the end of his sermon my pastor asked everybody to pull out the rock that was given to them on the way into the auditorium. He instructed everyone to hold them up into the air.

Everybody did.

He said, "Here's the deal, friends; if you don't speak the truth and give him praise, Jesus says the rocks will do it instead. Did you catch that??? These rocks will begin speaking truth and singing for us."

Still holding up his stone, he said this:

"Are you going to let your rock speak the truth? Are you?!? I want you to take this rock with you this week, wherever you go and then bring it back with you next week. When this week gets hard, chaotic, crazy, I want you to take your rock out..."

He laughed, perhaps because he too, was beginning to think this seemed a bit ridiculous?

"When you feel like letting that rock speak the truth for you, hold it tightly in your grip, y'all," he said loudly, holding the rock in his fist and putting his hand behind his back, "Don't you let it speak; you keep that rock silent...Don't. Let. It. Speak..."

Does it matter that the rocks he keeps talking about came in an 80-pound bag from Home Depot?

We then sang Famous One, which I suppose was the worship band's attempt to keep everybody's rocks silent until they got home.

When we got to the second verse of that worship song, I could have sworn Jessica's rock said hello to me.

She didn't believe me.



And yes, I know I am missing a word in one of the "speech bubbles"; I will try and fix it later... need to go to bed.

THIS JUST IN: JESUS NO LONGER NEEDS NEW PR...

April Fool's Day.


Have a very blessed Palm Sunday...