I'm giving away 10 autographed copies of my book How To Ruin Your Dating Life. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment that finishes this sentence...

If you want to ruin your dating life...

Send the link to your friends. Send it to your ex-lovers. Send it to your pastor. Enter as many times as you want. I'll do a drawing on Tuesday and winners will be announced here at my blog on Wednesday!

This could be fun.

I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP!

Friends,

I need your help! Would you please look at the following three book covers and let me know which one you like the best? I need your opinions, even if you simply write "I like number one" or "I hate number three." Your thoughts will be greatly appreciated! And if you want to, send a link to my blog to your friends and family and get their opinions, too! Thank you so much!

Matthew

MORE DATING ADVICE FROM 'HOW TO RUIN YOUR DATING LIFE'

HOW TO RUIN YOUR DATING LIFE: A Few Simple Rules Regarding Christian Singles’ Groups

Okay, so if you happen to find yourself joining a church singles’ group, do yourself a big favor and follow these rules. Seriously, please do this. I (Matthew) promise that the very essence of your dating career depends on it.

• It’s not a hookup joint. That’s not to say hookups won’t happen—and it would actually be awesome if they happened more often—but if you join a Christian singles’ group with the motive of hooking up, may the fake gods of unwanted celibacy fall upon you for many moons. [No, I’m not New Age.]
• Resist the temptation to make the group your only friends. Sure, they’re nice people, but you’ll need a little more cultural influence than just them! Trust me, I know that "Sheila" is a nice woman, but if you don’t want to be the next forty-seven-year-old single to be spearheading your yearly "Unmarried Servants’ Fall Retreat," I suggest you keep your singles’ group attendance on a very tight leash. Or you know that Sheila will be nominating you to replace her when she turns forty-eight.
• If your singles’ group is known by an acronym, leave immediately. I’m not trying to make you a stuck-up jerk, but come on, you’ve got a reputation to protect, and attending the FLOCK—Females Living Out Christ’s Kingdom—is only making that more difficult.
• Keep it to one "singles" activity a week [maybe two, but only if they’re mission related]. Just trust me on this one, all right?
• If you’re a male over the age of thirty and you attend a church singles’ group that’s mostly female and under the age of twenty-three, I hate to break it to you, but everybody thinks you’re creepy. And if you have a mustache or goatee, multiply that creepiness times ten.
• If upon joining a church singles’ group, the word single becomes about as tolerable as the words moist, sack, or pianist, you might want to find a new church. Believe it or not, single isn’t a dirty word.
• No hooking up on missions trips. You know when the music fades, so will the relationship.

For more information on How To Ruin Your Dating Life, buy the book.

GETTING ALL WET WITH ISRAEL (the singer, not the country)

DATING ADVICE FROM 'HOW TO RUIN YOUR DATING LIFE'

My book How To Ruin Your Dating Life (that's the Amazon.com link) hits bookstores this week. Yes, the cover is a little girly (and between you and me, kind of ugly), but I'm pretty sure the book has some "dating" advice you won't read in any other dating book for Christians. I co-wrote the book with Kerri Pomarolli, a comedy writer from California. She and I have a little different take on being Christian and dating, so it's a good mix I think of "he-said/she-said" commentary and advice on dating other Christians. I also think it's a pretty good book for groups of people to read and discuss. If you're interested in buying a large quantity, email me and I'll hook you up with some kind of discount. For those of you who asked for a free copy to blog about, your books should be in the mail!

Here's a sample from a sidebar that I wrote for the book:

Miracles Do Happen, but All of us Need A Little Sting Reality

[a few reality checks for Christian dating]

I admit; this sidebar is rather blunt. But all of us need a little tough love once in a while, right? Hey, I think it was Dr. James Dobson who said those words; it wasn’t me. So please take your issue up with him. But while you’re thinking about the best way to speak your mind to the Family guy, why not first come face-to-face with some reality? Oh, and one more thing: Most of these reality checks are meant for men and women, regardless of my pronoun usage [yet some are gender specific; I think you’ll be able to tell the difference].

• Just because both of you love Jesus doesn’t mean you’ll fit together like two puzzle pieces.
• Just because he loves Jesus doesn’t mean he won’t try to sleep with you [his moves will just be slower and guilt inducing].
• Just because she loves Jesus doesn’t mean she will love you the way you are.
• Just because he loves Jesus doesn’t mean he’ll be attracted to obesity.
• Just because she loves Jesus doesn’t mean she’ll overlook your insulting her in public [and she shouldn’t].
• Just because he loves Jesus doesn’t mean he will want to pray with you every time you close your eyes and bow your head.
• Just because she loves Jesus doesn’t mean she won’t be, um, a [bleep] once in a while.
• Just because he loves Jesus doesn’t mean he’ll initiate the DTR.
• Just because she loves Jesus doesn’t mean she’ll understand your desire to hang with the guys once in a while.
• Just because he loves Jesus doesn’t mean he won’t decide to break up with you [for no real reason at all].
• Just because she loves Jesus doesn’t mean she’ll take you back after your spontaneous breakup.
• Just because both of you love Jesus doesn’t mean you won’t need a whole bunch of therapy to make your relationship work.

Now it’s your turn. Try coming up with your own list. You might actually find it mildly entertaining.

CAMERON CONANT'S BOOK SIGNING

Last night, Jessica and I went to a book signing featuring my friend Cameron Contant who was signing his most recent memoir called The Year I Got Everything I Wanted.

It was a great night. Cameron read passages from his new book. He did an awesome job. BTW: If you haven't read anything from Cameron, you should. His writing is good stuff. (Much better than that last sentence I just wrote.) He has a fantastic tone. Edgy. Spirited. Depressed. Distant. Earthy. And he's an honest writer, too. Oddly honest, actually. And I mean that in a good way. This particular title is loosely based on the King Solomon's biblical writings.

The evening also included singer/songwriter Thad Cockrell. Thad is amazing. His spirit is so humble and kind. He's definitely a rare find in Nashville, Tennessee.

It was a great night. Had fun. Hung out with my editor Andrea! Love her.

COLLIDE MAGAZINE DEBUTS

I'm a columnist for Collide, a new magazine that explores the relationship between church and technology. If you're a church leader of any kind, a person who is interested in the combo of culture and Christianity, or a tech geek who loves Jesus, I think you should definitely check the magazine out. It's a darn good first issue. For a free copy of the magazine or to subscribe, go here.

My column is called "A Mixed Tape." Here's what I wrote for the first issue. Enjoy.



A MIXED TAPE: Phone Envy and Gadget Lust

by Matthew Paul Turner

I’m not really sure why the editors at Collide would want me to write a column for them. Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m grateful for the opportunity, and I’m certainly not questioning their publishing savvy, but I just wonder if they know what they’ve gotten themselves into. Basically, I doubted their decision to ask me to contribute because the truth is this: technology and me go together like Lindsay Lohan and sobriety.

And sometimes not even that good.

And since Collide is a magazine about how to utilize technology within the confines of doing church and ministry (YouTube Bible Church anyone?), you probably can imagine why I wasn’t quite sure about how I would fit in editorially.

However, I don’t want to mislead you, either. Just because I’m clueless about all-things techy—um, I still struggle hooking up the VCR when my wife wants to watch Anne of Green Gables—that doesn’t mean I don’t like some of it. Being inept when it comes to understanding the engineering and science behind most of today’s technology doesn’t mean I avoid it like it’s an STD. In fact, even the stuff I can’t afford to use—which is most of it—arouses a number of my senses when I walk through the Apple Store. And honestly, that’s why I’ve wondered on more than one occasion if Steve Jobs is actually one of Satan’s helpers, kind of like Tom from MySpace or Gargamel.

And you know, that might not be an exaggeration. Let’s face it; the gadgets that Steve creates, even to those only mildly caught up in the world of geekdom, are often as alluring as online porn. If only you could Google the iPod and find it free, a man would never have to fear that his tech addiction would end up on display when the credit card statement comes at the end of the month. Of course, not everybody is tempted by things like Bluetooth, Microsoft Surface, and video screens small enough to keep in your back pocket. However, some of you know exactly what I’m talking about; you, too, have been caught lusting after a friend’s iPhone. And I think you’ll agree: there are only a few things more pathetic than a guy with phone envy written all over his face.

Believe me, I know. Despite not having the technical ability to ever get the iPhone—a cell phone that I’m sure God would use if he didn’t have to switch to AT&T—to sync with my MacBook Pro, I would still find a good amount of satisfaction just carrying it around in my front pocket or touching it daily. It doesn’t matter that the LG phone I got free from Verizon works perfectly fine; the lust I feel for that small “i” nudges my soul far better than anything Chris Tomlin has every written.

I wonder if people’s intrigue with the latest technology isn’t about needing the gadget, but often more about being able to boast to their family, friends, and the baristas at Starbucks that they are cool enough to own the gadget.

That has certainly been true for me on more than one occasion.

I think the same might be true for some of the churches that use technology and media to enhance their worship services. In the past, when I’ve attended a more gaudier church—you know, the type whose call to worship feels more like your watching Billy Bush on Access Hollywood than experiencing an introduction to a time of communion with God—I often wonder if all the added mechanical bells and whistles really do a better job at telling the story of God, or if some churches are simply boasting their technical treasures here on earth. Not to mention, many of them demand the Holy Spirit to keep up with the speed and capability of a T3 line, which is something that even the apostle Paul didn’t do.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I believe that some of today’s technical magic offers churches the chance to retell God’s narrative in a way that is passionate and beautiful and culturally relevant. And I applaud the churches that are making great creative strides in using media and technology. But when churches are not careful, I also think the gospel can get lost in translation when it’s enhanced only because a church has a couple of big screens and a few visitors to impress.

I guess I think that using the culture’s most elaborate tools while worshiping our Creator requires a great deal of wisdom on our part. I mean, the last thing we need is for God’s son to become known as iJesus, and for parishioners to leave God’s house feeling like they’ve just witnessed Church by J.J. Abrams.

There’s nothing wrong with telling stories with the help of flash graphics and a THX sound system. Heck, I can only imagine that even God got a little geeked on the second day of Creation. But I think it’s very important that we not let our need to impress trump our desire to tell what’s true with a little grace and humility. I think our culture has enough loud exaggerated stories to listen to.

And I don’t foresee Fox News changing its strategy anytime soon.

CLINTON KELLY FROM 'WHAT NOT TO WEAR'

My wife loves TLC's What Not To Wear. She and her friend Cate went to Macy's to meet one of the hosts, Clinton Kelly. She was excited because he told her she was, "adorable." And I would have to agree.

BILL CLINTON SAYS, 'GIVING IS GOOD'

No further comment needed.

SIX YEARS AGO TODAY...

I was in Florida at Disney World with my friend Daniel. The two of us were driving to meet a friend when we got the news about the plane hitting the first tower.

I really do hope I never forget that horrible feeling I felt that morning, the emptiness that overwhelmed me and stole some of my ability to function normally. I don't ever want to forget the hopelessness, the stillness after the storm, the long mournful embrace I got from a couple of strangers.

September 11, 2001 will in some way remain in my heart and mind forever.

As a follower of Jesus, I believe that what he did on the cross was supernatural. It represents a universal hope that humanity will one day experience. Not in the form of a rescue. Not in the form of a mass exit.

But in the form of fulfilled hope.

May you find peace in that hope.

MADELEINE L'ENGLE DIES

She was the author of the famed A Wrinkle in Time, among sixty-some other books. According to the New York Times, Wrinkle has sold 8 million copies and is in its 69th printing. I was introduced to L'Engle by my friend Nichole Nordeman, which I was very thankful. L'Engle's stories as well as her thoughts on faith and life will be appreciated for years to come.

CONTINUATION OF MY INTERVIEW WITH ANDREW PETERSON

A FEW THINGS I LOVE...

Our World Vision girls... Maya and Shilpi!


















My wife's crafting: She's so talented!














EW!






















Ducks from Target! I love ducks for some reason.













And Axe deodorant. I might not love it, but I do like it a lot...

'OBAMA YOU'RE MY MAN!' SHOUTS OPRAH

Oprah and I have something in common: we both like Barack Obama. While I'm still not sure if I will vote for him, I do kind of like him. Unfortunately, I do think it will take a miracle for him to win the Democratic nomination, but perhaps he will be up for vice president. Who knows?

Anyway, I feel so much approval being in agreement with the most influential woman in America. (I'm kidding. Sort of.) The richest woman in the known universe was able to raise $3 million for the first term senator.

Go O!

3 (OUT OF 5) STARS FOR 'BUTTERFLY'

The basic idea of Glen Packiam's debut book Butterfly in Brazil is nothing new, but many of the points made are indeed important ones. The lead singer of New Life church's college worship band hopes to remind his readers that he or she can make a difference in the world and that sometimes those things begin small. His point being, that sometimes we can't know how God might use us in the here and now. Packiam's writing is at its best when he is sharing stories, but he becomes less effective and clumsy when he attempts to "preach" at his audience or present his theological viewpoint on the book of Revelations. But mostly, Packiam stays on track, making Butterfly a good and important read for college students and young adults.

LORD, SAVE US FROM YOUR FOLLOWERS: THE DOCUMENTARY!

This is almost the documentary I wish I had made. While Lord, Save Us From Your Followers is well made and entertaining, I think it could have been a lot funnier; the editing could be tighter. However, this movie is very good, so definitely keep an eye out for it. A friend of mine let me see it this past weekend; he said it will be making the festival circuit in 2008.

A 'SEXY' BLOG MENTION

Yesterday, my blog was mentioned on the website of Christian sex expert, Robert Irwin. As he mentioned, I interviewed Robert for my book, What You Didn't Learn From Your Parents About SEX. If you are married or getting ready to be married, you should seriously consider checking out Robert's book about sexual intimacy. Believe me when I say this, it's nothing like most of the "sex books" that you find in Christian bookstores. I highly respect the research and opinions of Robert; like I wrote in an endorsement of his book, he should be on Oprah.

Robert, thanks for the mention! And for all of the people who are visiting my blog from his, welcome!

ANDREW PETERSON AND ME AT THE FLYING SAUCER (PART 1 of 3)

MY INTERVIEW WITH KENDALL PAYNE

At RelevantMagazine.com

SCIENTISTS, EVANGELICALS LOOKING FOR CLIMATE CHANGE IN ALASKA

While perusing RelevantMagazine.com, I found the link to this interesting story about a group of Christians and scientists who are interested in learning more about the changing environment.

THIRD DAY SHARES ITS WISDOM!

A NEW BOOK CHRONICLES BUSH'S PRESIDENCY

From the New York Times.

A new book hits stores on Tuesday called Dead Certain: The Presidency of George W. Bush; it's written by fellow-Texan Robert Draper. The book's research included 6 hour-long interviews with Mr. Bush.

Quote of interest:

Of course I've [got a shoulder to cry on], I’ve got God’s shoulder to cry on, and I cry a lot.