happy new year! (from a fussy?!? elias and me)

ed young's body isn't his...

He's given it to God! And wants you to do the same.

My friend went to Ed's church over the weekend and sent this picture to me.

Sigh.

There are some things that you don't need from your pastor... this is one of them.

a christmas story...

I put this story together for a Christmas Eve reading at my church... But it didn't quite fit... so, here it is for your enjoyment. For those who read Churched, you'll recognize some of this...

As a child, I loved the Christmas Season more than any other time of the year. I was raised in the 1980s, long before the word “holiday” became dirty and turquoise and fuchsia became Christmas colors. We had it made back then. Not only did the Christmas season begin in September just as soon as the Sears Wish Book came in the mail, we had Christmas trees that blinked and tinsel that was flammable. Sure, we only had Atari, but we had imaginations. And there was no better time to use your imagination than at Christmas.

Maybe that was why, when I was 11 years old, my mother told my sisters and me that she wanted to do something new and exciting for Christmas that year.

“We just need a little pizzazz,” she told my father as he sat in his recliner and hemmed and hawed, possibly thinking about how much Mom’s “holiday pizzazz” would end up costing him. My father could be a little bit of a Yuletide Scrooge. Oh, Dad believed in the birth of Christ with all of his heart, soul, and mind. He just didn’t believe in Christmas. But thankfully, for the sake of my Sears’ Wish Book list, my mother believed in celebrating both.

Unlike Dad, I was fully supportive of Mom surprising the family with something new and exciting that Christmas. I didn’t have a clue what my mother was planning, but I secretly hoped she was leaning toward taking us on vacation to some place exciting. Like Bethlehem or Rome or Dollywood.

Those locations were my top three, but I wasn’t exactly picky. I just wanted to be out of town on Christmas Eve to avoid a repeat of what happened the year before when I performed the starring role in my church’s Christmas pageant. My Sunday school teacher Mrs. Snover told my mother that while she was writing the church’s Christmas play, she kept picturing me in the lead role. “I’m sure he’d be happy to do it,” my mother had told her, “What’s it about?”

“Oh, Carole,” squealed Mrs. Snover like an elf who had just invented a brand new toy, “It’s called ‘The Town’s Scrawniest Donkey.”

My mother’s jaw tightened. “The Town’s Scrawniest Donkey? And you want Matthew to play the lead?”

She nodded. “I think he’ll be perfect for the role of Malachi the donkey!”

Mrs. Snover went on to explain to my mother that her play was based loosely on the narrative of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, except it was about a lonely donkey named Malachi who lived on farm with a group of verbally abusive barnyard animals. Because Malachi was ugly, scrawny, and uneducated, the other animals laughed at him, called him names, and refused to let him play any of their barnyard games. Like monopoly. However, just like Rudolph, Malachi did end up living happily ever after. As it turned out, when Joseph and Mary were about halfway to Bethlehem, the donkey they were riding hurt its leg and had to be put down. Even though Malachi was scrawny, he ended up carrying the Virgin Mary the rest of the way to Bethlehem and witnessing the birth of Jesus.

I will admit, I was very convincing in the role of Malachi. In addition to being the shortest and skinniest kid in my Sunday school class, I could also suck in my gut with such force that a few people claimed they could see the outline of my pancreas. So portraying an insecure malnourished donkey came natural for me.

The worst part about playing Malachi happened when a group of older kids began calling me the Biblical word for donkey. For months, I was called that. Worse still, I was a scrawny unattractive one.

As it turned out, my mother didn’t take us on a vacation to Dollywood. We didn’t go anywhere for Christmas that year. Which meant I got to play the role of Malachi the donkey one more time.

When we arrived home after the play, Mom began spreading frosting on a sheet cake. “What’s that for?” I asked.

“We’re throwing Jesus a birthday party,” she said. I glanced up at my mother’s face to see if she was being serious. “I’ve made a cake, the dining room is all decorated with green and red balloons, and I bought candles.”

I watched her place thirty-three candles on the cake. Then, the entire family gathered around the dining room table, and after Mom had lit the candles, we sang “Happy Birthday” to the empty seat at the end of the table.

After we had finished singing, we stood real still and stared at the birthday cake for a few seconds. I think we were waiting to see who would blow out the candles, wondering if a mighty rushing wind would blow through the house and extinguish the flames.

Nothing happened.

Eventually, my brother-in-law leaned in and blew out the candles. Then, he looked at all of us and said, “What? I didn’t do anything.”

As the family ate ice cream and cake in Jesus’ honor, we sat quietly in the living room watching various sections of our Christmas tree blink on and off. My father pulled out his Bible and began reading the Christmas story. After he read the part about the angels gathering and shouting glory to God in the highest, he prayed. Then we sang a couple of Christmas carols. All felt calm and bright at my house that Christmas Eve.

It wasn’t Bethlehem or Dollywood, but there was peace on earth and birthday cake. So maybe it was close.

happy christmas!

baby, it's christmas

hOt

This has nothing to do with writing, Jesus, or my family, but it seemed worth of a post.

you might be the author of a christian book...

If you've ever walked into a bookstore and picked up a book by an author such as John Grisham, David Sedaris, Elizabeth Gilbert, or Anne Lamott and thought, "Maybe some day I'll get to be a real author, too"...

If you've ever checked your book's ranking at Amazon.com, and then prayed for it ...

If you've ever asked your publisher why most mainstream books smell better than yours... (Extra Credit if during that conversation, you said something like, "Go to a bookstore and smell 'Eat Pray Love'--that's how I want my book to smell."

If you've ever used "Donald Miller" as an adjective... (Extra Credit if you added "ish" to the end of his name)

If you've ever spelled a word with asterisks...

If an editor has ever asked you to write about your sin in code (Extra Credit if the editor said something like, "You're detailed description is causing me to stumble, Matthew, and I'm at my desk right now.")

If you've ever considered going on a mission trip for story ideas...

If your publicist has ever called and said, "Guess what? I landed you on Focus on the Family!"(Extra Credit if publicist then gave you "Focus" pointers to ensure you didn't say or do anything that would keep you from being invited back)...

If you can't find your book at Borders... (Extra Credit if you pretend not to be the book's author and ask a salesperson why they don't have it in stock)...

If you think about punching every person who asks you, "So, have you read 'The Shack'?"

If you talk about "Max," "Rick," and "C.S." like they're phone numbers are in your iPhone...

If you think your book about the Holy Spirit has mainstream potential...

Finish this statement: You might be the author of a Christian book....

Special thanks to my friend Jennifer for helping me with this list.

what happened to winter?

It's 70 degrees today in Nashville. Only three days ago it was 30 with freezing rain. But today it's beautiful. So I took Elias outside and shot a few pictures. Yes, I know Jessica and I are little crazy with the photos of Elias. But hopefully, when he's older, he'll appreciate how much we enjoyed capturing moments.

(Don't ask why I put a scarf around him in 70-degree weather. I just thought it would be cute. And no, he's not in training to be a praise-and-worship leader.)

:)

warren and obama sitting in a tree...

And thank God they're in the same tree. Perhaps sitting on the same limb even. OK, I'll settle for the same tree. But anyway, our future president (Obama!) invited Rick Warren to offer the invocation at his upcoming inauguration.

Here's the story.

I'm happy that he was invited.

I'm happier that he accepted.

Maybe this is the season of good tidings of great joy after all.

what's that christian really thinking?

what the fa la la la la?

This is a brand new holiday video from the psycho hate-driven whackjobs from Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas.

Care to sing along? 

I have no words. Well, I do. But I can't write them here. 

a lot changes in five years

I got my driver's license renewed this morning. Usually the DMV is like a foreshadowing of hell. But not this morning. 

When I took my picture the lady said, "You smiled in your last picture, so I want you to smile again." 

So I did. Sort of. 

A lot changes in five years, huh? 

I got married

I became a father

I lost my job at CCM

I wrote 16 books (4 were co-written)

I lost a lot of hair

I gained 40 pounds and then lost 50

Those are just some of the highlights. And apparently Tennessee's DMV has changed. Maybe they found Jesus. Or Buddha. Or perhaps they're kindness was just because I was the first one in line that had all of the necessary documentation.

Or maybe I've changed. 

What's changed for you in the last five years? 

mormon 'prophet' predicts a very merry nuclear christmas

Wow. The Mormons have these kinds of people too.

In addition to holiday bombs, he also predicts that Obama will not be our next president.

And he sort of looks like Santa.

Ho ho ho ho!

elias and I believe...

His timing was perfect. His gloves were so white they nearly shimmered. His smile lit up the room.

As he shook my hand goodbye, he said, "God bless you, young man."

I think of met Santa Claus today.

And he is lovely.

twilight/paramore

Paramore - New Music - More Music Videos

OK, your turn...

Using exactly three words, how would you describe the lead singer's hair color? For example, my three words are...

"Alphabet-Soup Orange"

tennessee, would you want this man to be...

Your Governor? You might get that chance.

Can we at least make it into 2009 before we start speculating about politics again?

Ugh.

myshelf.com reviews 'churched'

Check it out.

If you want to buy it. Click here.

flashback: remember this guy?

He was at my house last night! Along with Anne Jackson and her husband.

We had a great time laughing and talking about life.

the meaning of christmas

According to Linus... I may have posted this last year, but I think it's worth posting again.

the best in baby scrapbooking

I'm so proud of my wife Jessica. For many reasons, of course, but this week I'm proud of her for her fantastic blogging! As many of you know this week on her blog, she's been debuting The Best in Baby Scrapbooking. And each day, she's been having contests, giving away the product that she's displaying.

Like many of you, I didn't "get" scrapbooking. But I think I do now, at least, in the "I appreciate it" sort of way. My wife's passion for telling her story with pictures, words, and creativity is inspiring to me in many way. But seeing her love for chronicling Elias's story is amazing to watch

So here are some reasons why I think you should visit Jessica's blog:

1) Her work is pretty darn creative!
2) You can win some cool product (And if you're a guy, you can give it to your wife for Christmas)
3) You might actually gain an appreciation for scrapbooking
4) Cute pictures of Elias!

Here's today's project. Click here to leave a comment and enter to win!

puppets!

hillary: funny snl skit

2008's THESE DIDN'T SUCK list: albums made by christians

With What If We, my friend Brandon Heath secured two Grammy nominations, and it's well-deserved. Heath's a true storyteller.


Technically Brooke Fraser's Albertine released in 2007, but America discovered her in 2008. This might be my favorite album of 2008 in any genre of music.

What's on your list in this particular genre?

prunes!

My son hasn't pooped in a week. So the pediatrician recommended we feed him some prunes. We weren't excited about feeding him baby food just yet, but in the name of regularity, we did. And these pictures tell the story of what he thought about his first taste of prunes.

But seriously, do you blame him?

I'd never thought I'd ask this: But please pray the boy poops today!

"i can make you laugh"

thief in the night (the clip i write about in churched)

Now you'll understand why I was so scared. :)

teaching elias about spiritual things

He's such a godly kid.

And yes, I know I need to shave. But I'm lazy.

baby scrapbooking week

I realize many of you don't scrapbook. Neither do I. But because of my wife Jessica's love for the hobby, I feel like I do. Or perhaps should. 

I wanted to remind you that starting this Monday it's Baby Scrapbooking Week @ Jessica's blog! Aren't you excited? I don't know exactly what she has planned, but I can tell you that she's been working very hard on it and that she'll be giving TONS of product away. 

So please, if you enjoy scrapbooking and babies, visit Jessica's blog starting Monday! 

belmont grad?

the resurrection of creed?

Stapp and co. are in talks about a 2009 comeback tour!

Will you let Creed take you 'higher' once again?

you might be a christian rock star...

... if your concert's encore includes an alter call

... if you've ever led an audience in praise and worship music while wearing a scarf

(Extra credit if your scarf was tied in a "Chelsea" knot!)

... if your "musical inspiration" is this guy:

but you sound exactly like this guy:

... if you've ever played at an event that had the word "Republican" in its name (Extra credit if you sent out a press release!)

... if you've ever been the opening act for James Dobson's son

... if you play electric guitar for the band Third Day

... if during the middle of massive applause you've ever taken a step back from the microphone and then pointed toward ceiling (Extra credit if you join in the applause!)

... if you've ever shared the stage with this guy:

(Extra credit if you call him Stevie-B!)

... if you respond to this post "anonymously"

YOUR TURN... Finish this statement: You might be a Christian rock star (if)...