baptism

I'm getting baptized on Sunday.

I've only told a few people. It's not that I'm embarrassed or ashamed, I just haven't felt the need to advertise it.

This will be my fifth or sixth time getting baptized. But it will be the first time that I experience baptism in "hope" and not in fear. Heck, this will be the first time getting baptized in regular clothes. At my old church I had to wear one those blue plastic smocks with nothing on underneath. Weird, right?

In Amy Grant's book "Mosaic," she tells the story about getting baptized again as an adult in the Brazos River by a preacher friend of hers. Her story inspired me to consider doing the same.

Well, on Sunday that will happen.

Looking forward to getting clean. Or at least wet.

Happy Weekend.

Have you been Baptized? What was the experience like for you?

I took Elias to the doctor this morning for his six month checkup. During the examination, Doctor Schull pressed on his tummy and felt with her fingers something she didn't recognize as normal. "It could be poop," she said. But she wasn't sure. She didn't seem worried. As she talked to herself she continued to press in various spots on his stomach. "Some just doesn't feel right. I'd like for him to get an ultrasound."

I worried for seven hours.

But he was fine. His ultrasound came back normal.

Thank you God.

rub-a-dub-dub

ed young on stephen colbert

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Ed Young

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

sometimes I go too far

Today I learned that my post about the "best book cover ever" was deemed offensive by quite a few people. While I don't usually make a habit of apologizing for what I say here at my blog, in this case I believe the criticism is warranted and that what I said was in poor taste. So, if I offended you in anyway, please accept my sincere apologies. But please know that I was not poking fun at the book because it wasn't "sexy" or "because she was old" or because the author isn't "cool," as some comments indicated.

While I am familiar with BSF, I was not familiar with the book prior to adding the post. I've deleted the post, and I'm sincerely sorry for those of you whom I offended.

Thank you.

confession (i rewrote 'god is in control' for micheal english)

When I was in college, my friend "Missy" became Michael English's personal assistant. Don't laugh; that was a big deal back then. We were all jealous of her, mostly because Michael was good friends with Wynonna, and Melissa got to hang out at her house a few times. Now, for those of you who have never heard of Michael English, he was a famous Christian singer back in the mid-90s. In fact, he was the original singer of the now well-known Christmas song, "Mary, Did You Know?" But he quickly became unfamous after he impregnated one of his background singers (she wasn't his wife). Back in 1994, this was HUGE news, and because I was good friends with "Missy," I heard all about his affair before it became public. (Which sort of made up for never getting to meet Wynonna. Back then I believed that gossip equaled power.)

But anyway, that same year, or thereabout, Christian singer/songwriter Twila Paris released her hit song, "God is in Control." It was a huge hit, and I was a huge fan of Twila as well as the song. Here's the music video for the song.



On a sidenote, you gotta love the ballerinas in the video. Gosh. Even for Christian music in 1994, that was cheesy. Wow.

Anyway, soon after Michael English had his affair, my friend and I were sitting around in our dorm room thinking about how Michael's problem could have been avoided. We thought of a lot of ways--but the one that ended up ruling our thoughts and our conversation was this one. In the middle of our talk, my friend looked at me and said, "For God's sake, why didn't he use birth control?" So we sat around and tried to think of the reasons why, and we concluded that using birth control would have made his sin--THE WORST KIND OF SIN--premediated sin. To Christians, there is nothing worse than premeditated sin. So, not using birth control gave them an excuse--you know, the "we got caught up in the moment" excuse. If they had stopped to consider birth control, it would have given the Holy Spirit enough time to interject. (That was just our theory.)

But then my friend and I became inspired to write a song, and you probably know where this is going... we immediately began rewriting the words to "God is in Control." But rather, the title to our song was "Mike, Use Birth Control."

This was the chorus. (Gosh, this is embarrassing. I'm gonna get hate mail for this, I just know it.) But anyway... the chorus...

Mike, use birth control!
There are so many sizes, ribbed if you like it
Mike, use birth control!
Something so easy to her can be pleasing
There is no guarantee but a vasectomy
Mike, oh oh oh Mike, Mike, use birth control.

We wrote verses, too, but thankfully, I don't remember them.

But don't judge me, OK? I was 20. I wish I could say we were drunk when we wrote that. But that would be a lie. Besides, Belmont University was a dry campus back then. It may still be, I don't know.

OK, that's the end of this particular confession. (Forgive me if I offended you.)

QUESTION: Have you ever rewritten the words to a popular song? (Maybe some day I'll confess what I did to a George Michael song. But not today.)

feeding elias food

Click here if you're interested in sponsoring a child in need through World Vision.

obamicon.me

Obamania is in the air. Here's a cool site where you can create your own Obamicon!

I created one for Elias too...

run and worship

What a great idea! Run and worship. Who needs to kneel anymore when you can do yoga or jumping jacks or run? At church on Sunday, I think I might stretch. Maybe some lunges. And I can do a split if needed.

Oh, and that IS the final cover--minus the words "NOT FINAL COVER." This CD is brand new, along with her sister CD--WALK and worship.

obama's car!

If you were the president, what special feature would you want in YOUR car?

add this 'churched' button to your blog!

Several of you have asked me to create a Churched button that you can easily add to your blog or social networking site. Well, here it is! If you end up adding it to your blog, send me an email... MatthewPaulTurner@gmail.com. Thanks to everyone for your support. And a special thanks to Sara for teaching me how to do this... :)



<center><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Churched-Kids-Journey-Toward-Despite/dp/1400074711/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1232202872&sr=8-1"><img src="http://i593.photobucket.com/albums/tt19/MatthewPaulTurner/churched_ad.jpg" /></a></center>

a good quote

God must be accomplishing a design invariable and without the shadow of turning, the design to save every one of us everlastingly. –Florence Nightingale

snuggies! (do you have one?)

Have you seen the Snuggie commercial yet? Oh, believe me, you need to! I saw it for the first time a month or so ago. And I instantly dubbed it the insta-monk!

Check it out!



OK, who buys that? Because you know somebody does. It must sell. They wouldn't keep airing the commercial if it didn't. So, what kind of person buys a blanket with sleeves? And how is that an invention? It's just a very thick choir robe with a big slit up the back!

So, what would make you want to buy a Snuggie? (You get extra credit if you confess to having one!)

lord save us tour...

This is from Kortland @ GroundWorks Management...

This past week Lord Save Us From Your Followers has been invited to The 2009 Sedona Film Festival, featured on the national broadcast of The Hour of Power, and awarded a Resource of the Year for 2008 Award by Outreach Magazine.

What a week!

Next month, we kick off the spring leg of our tour with routes all around the US. Here are the routes we are planning:

February 11-20

Indiana, Illinois, Iowa, and Missouri

February 22-March 9

Texas and Mississippi

March 12-25

Virginia, Delaware, Pennsylvania, New York, & Ohio

March 31-April 2

Michigan

April 6-17

Alabama, Georgia, South and North Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, Kansas, Nebraska, Iowa, and Minnesota

What about you? Are you in any of the states we will be visiting? Are you interested in hosting the tour?

We still have a few holes to fill in the above routes and we would love to stop at your place.

Let me know how we can make this happen. What works for you?

Price, Date, Package - just email me: kortland@groundworksmanagement.com. You can also call me @ 615-425-6312.

you googled WHAT and found my blog?

My friend Dave Carrol (FULL DISCLOSURE: Dave's an Eskimo in Canada who eats whale blubber and seal sandwiches) have this ongoing dialogue about the interesting terms people search that ultimately lead to our blogs. Here's just a few of the funny things that people (not you of course... because you're pure and innocent) search and end up finding me!

"how to tie scarves to a mic stand"

This is awesome! You just know Chris Tomlin was the one who searched this. Obviously he wants his mic stand to look like him.

"i love jesus and my gun"

And my hunting dog and that there Palin lady. Oh, and I enjoy bowling.

"yankee hater"

I love Jesus and my gun, AND I hate Yankees.

"hedge of protection condoms"

Hedge-of-Protection-condoms? No. Way. If these things exist I'm guessing they're made by Focus on the Family or Black-n-Decker.

"matthew perry's teeth"

As in Chandler Bing? What's wrong with Chandler's smile? Anybody know?

"prostitute barbie collectors item"

No comment.

"has rebecca st. james had sex yet?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! (Catch my breath.) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

But in all seriousness---no, she hasn't. I'm pretty sure I would have received a press release.

"horton hears a who jesus"

Aw, this sounds like a really good book. And you just know that a little Who Jesus would be so cute. There could be a little Who cross and a little Who tomb. And then little Who Mary could visit the little Who tomb and realize its empty.

Oh, and Horton could get saved in the end!!!

"clinton kelly, wife"

OK, I get this "search" a lot. But no, Clinton Kelly doesn't have a wife. And he's not looking for a wife. And my wife thinks he's awesome!

caption this!

Best caption wins a prize!

flashback: jesus got good pr

One of my all time favorite "pop culture" moments.

vote for elias in 'holiday photo' contest

Go here.

so much for that christmas present...

Is this funny? REALLY?

I think Matt Lauer put her in her place.

funny t-shirt

cross point's next series... fear.

Paralyzed Promo from Matthew Singleton on Vimeo.

early christmas present?

Poor Ann Coulter. She must be a mess right about now.

There's a rumor going around that NBC has banned her from its news programs. And she was scheduled to be on the Today show in the morning. Now, of course, this could all be a publicity stunt, especially since tomorrow (1/6/2009) is the release date of Ann's new book GUILTY.

Thank you NBC. We owe you one.

a year of living jesusly... (bet you couldn't do it)

Wow. Ed Dobson is a former pastor who decided that, for one year, he would stop being "Christian," and instead, "do what Jesus did." Yeah, I know you might think being Christian and being like Jesus are the same thing, but trust me, they very different. (I mean, if you take the "Apostle Paul" out of Christianity you practically have Buddhism. Well, maybe not Buddhism, but you don't have Christianity.)

Well, anyway, Mr. Dobson's year of "being like Jesus" ended last week! And now that he's back to "being Christian" like the rest of us, he's doing PR, interviews, and writing a book about the whole crazy adventure. (See how much the Apostle Paul added to Christianity?)

OK, now watch the video.



One question: Now that's he's stopped "being like Jesus," would he change his vote?

ANSWER THIS: What part of Jesusly living would be the most difficult for you?